There is a strong correlation between Emotional Intelligence and how well you perform at and are recognized at work, according to all of the studies I have come across. People with emotional intelligence are valuable because they can get on with all sorts of other people. This translates into being able to do business.
According to the journal Psychology Today Emotional Intelligence is “the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others.”
You need Emotional Intelligence to run good events in business. Here are some tips that I believe are essential
You can’t learn or be very productive if you are feel anxious or angry or whatever the negative emotion is. So you need to do what you can to control the situation. One way is to change the way you perceive the situation. A couple of ways you can do this involve coming up with Plan B and C etc. A lot of anxiety comes from staking a lot on one course of action and then not being able to see alternatives to this:
A. Reduce negative stereotyping. If you feel adversely affected by someone, avoid jumping to a negative conclusion. This way, you will reduce the possibility of misunderstandings. Think of a few different ways of viewing the situation. For instance, your friend who didn’t return your email might not be ignoring you. They could be so busy, they forgot you sent it.
B. Reduce your fear of rejection. For instance, don't put all you eggs in one basket: “I really want my client to give me the approval to run their next business event.” How about, “If this idea is not implemented I’m going to come up with another six ideas”… Or, “I’ll present two alternative ideas as well…”
When you recognise you are stressed there are a heap of strategies you can employ that will calm them. It’s best to think up some of your own as different techniques will work for different people. You could, for instance, tap the fingertips of your right and left hands together a dozen times. Rubbing your thighs or your forearms briskly can help. You can put cold water or your face and get some fresh air. Exercise, aerobic exercises, walking, yoga… can help. Avoid caffeine, which can make you nervous.
There are times when you need to express difficult emotions in order to set boundaries. You do have a right to disagree without feeling bad about it. And people in leadership roles are usually able to do this really skillfully.
One method that can work is to name your emotion and an action and to then provide an alternative, positive, emotion and action.
For example: “I feel upset when you don’t include me in planning meetings. I would be more motivated if you included me.”
It is important to state your emotions clearly, without judgment or accusation. Avoid statements that include “you should” or “you need to”.
You are bound to encounter unreasonable people. Some tips:
A. Try to put yourself in the difficult person’s shoes. For instance, a really high percentage of disputes in the workplace involve one party with a mental illness. Consider if this person could be mentally ill. Alternatively, “She has really tough deadlines to deal with and it must be difficult to get everything done…” None of the above excuses unacceptable behaviour. It might just help you deal with it calmly however.
B. Blood does rush to your head when you are angry, which takes away your ability to be rational. Distract yourself with a simple technique for a little while until the blood drains away and you are able to think rationally again. Techniques could include breathing. For instance, breathe deeply for the count of 10. If you are still angry, take yourself out of the situation until you are in control. Practice your diversion techniques while you are driving when something another driver does upsets you.
C. Mindfulness training can work wonders in these situations and allow you to react appropriately but does require some dedication and another whole course.
· Simply being aware of emotional intelligence will in itself help you to hone it, reassess it, practice using it, and you will be able to problem-solve your way out of difficult emotional situations.
· Try to avoid judging your own emotions.
· Watch the effect you are having on people. Study their body language.
Try to be more light-hearted. If you are negative this will encourage people to see the negative around them. The converse is true.
Have a great day
Mary Anne Waldren ([email protected])
Collaborating and Forging Sustainable Partnerships Like so many others, I started in business without clear self-created boundaries around the process of collaboration.
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She inspires businesses when she mentors them and individuals when she speaks to them. Mary-Anne inspires synergies, partnerships and sponsorships, and the creation and production of pioneering events.